Post-election thoughts

I haven't posted anything since the election, and I've had a few people ask me why, given my usual very vocal opinions. The truth is that I still don't have the right words, because honestly, people like me were part of the problem. Sure, I worked my butt off for my candidate, and I passionately told everyone and anyone who would listed why I supported her. But how many times did I passively turn the other way when someone said something hurtful, untrue, or just plain ignorant, and I "let it go" in the name of peace and friendship?

A very brief story: The day after the election, we ran into one of Zane's best friends and his mom at school conferences, both of whom I adore. Zane's BFF was withdrawn and sullen, totally unlike him. His mom, a very strong and proud woman, had tears brimming in her eyes, and her shoulders slumped. I asked what was wrong. They had simply gone shopping, like they do every week, at Fred Meyer, right here in SW Portland. They were immediately threatened and harassed, and fled for home, fearing their safety. IN PORTLAND. You see, they are a Muslim family, and she wears full hijab. The worst part-- when I conveyed my horror and intention to accompany them the next time they go, she said "we've gotten used to the stares and muttered obscenities, but...". STOP THERE. What? This beautiful family of proud American citizens has endured harassment and micro-aggressions this whole time? In liberal Portland? Where have I been?

The answer is, right here this whole time. Yes, I choose love, yes, I choose light-- but I have let people near and dear to me down, in the name of keeping the peace, and not wanting to be offensive. I also believe that the conversation is greater than the political polarization; this is more than Trump vs. Clinton, Liberal vs. Conservative. This. Is. Us.

So here's this cartoon. It's definitely not the same one that keeps popping up on many of my friends' feeds, the whole "all lives matter, can't we just get along"? (Literally, dozens of postings). This cartoonist put into words what I have been feeling for the past week. This doesn't mean that I can't have a conversation or be friends with someone who's views are different. To me, this means that it's time to take a deep, honest, and maybe painful look at how my life and actions have served others, and how I can do better. I am a very privileged white woman living on my little urban farm in Portland, with my white husband, our white kids, our chickens, cats, dog. That is not to say I haven't had hardships-- I have endured terrible things only the closest friends and family to me know-- but I always have this place of relative safety and privilege to return to. When I walk into Fred Meyer, no one is going to call me a terrorist, call my son a n*gger, or threaten me physical harm for the hat or scarf I may be wearing. I am willing to look in the mirror, take stock and appreciation for what I have, and then shatter the mirror to see beyond, because right now, it's about so much more. It's not a sweet little meme of a Trump and Clinton person holding hands, it's messy, sticky, and really, really scary, and every single one of us is accountable.

If you are ready to join me in the conversation, look deeper, work harder, and find the true humanity and love that connect all of us, you know where to find me.